Simply put, the clitoris is the most reliable and effective way to give her an orgasm. In fact, the vast majority of women masturbate using only clitoral stimulation. If she’s one of them, it means that she has literally trained her body to orgasm from clitoral stimulation. You’ll definitely want to take advantage of that, and we’ll show you how.
You may be tempted to skip ahead to the “good stuff” in this guide. However, we advise you to read this section because the clitoris is fascinating, wonderful, and worth learning about. So take the time and learn what you are dealing with. It’ll pay off in the end.
Function of the clitoris
The clitoris serves no other purpose than giving her a good time. With more than eight thousand nerve fibers, It’s the only organ in the human body that exists solely for pleasure.
Finding the clitoris
The visible portion of the clitoris is a small, round bud located above the vaginal opening. It is covered by a soft fold of tissue called the “clitoral hood”, which protects it from overstimulation. During arousal the hood retracts to reveal the tip of the clitoris.
Sensitivity and Lubrication
All women are different. Some may prefer light touching of the clitoris while others may enjoy firmer pressure. Some don’t even like direct stimulation. Instead they prefer stimulation through the clitoral hood or on the sides of the clitoris.
If the clitoris isn’t properly lubricated, touching it can be a turn-off or even painful. Use her own natural lubrication or a water-based lube.
Make sure she’s relaxed and in the mood
She may also be a bit self conscious about her genitals. This can distract from her pleasure and keep her from having an orgasm. If you’re planning some oral sex and think this might be an issue for her, suggest that you take a hot bath or shower together. A bath is especially nice for foreplay, and she’ll be much more comfortable knowing that she’s fresh and clean.
With that out of the way, get her warmed up with a sensual massage and gradually work your way to her hot spots.
Stimulating her clitoris with your fingers
Oral sex may be a more exciting and precise way to give her clitoris some love, but don’t neglect the hands. As we mentioned earlier, many women train themselves to orgasm by using their fingers.
Have well groomed hands and fingers
Make sure your hands and fingers are squeaky clean. Also, make sure your fingernails are neatly trimmed. You may traumatize her forever if you snag her most sensitive parts with a sharp fingernail.
Make her crazy
The clitoris is sensitive to even the lightest touch. Lightly touch it with your fingers or tickle it with something soft like a feather to drive her wild.
This technique is most easily done by lying beside her or from behind with her sitting between your legs.
Want to take the guess work and experimentation out of the technique above? That’s easy. Just rest your fingers on top of hers while she masturbates. You can also reverse that and let her guide your fingers. You’ll be able to immediately find the speed and pressure she likes.
Insert your first two fingers into her, then turn your thumb up until it rests directly on her clitoris. Now use your fingers while simultaneously drawing circles on her clitoris with your thumb. The combination of clitoral and vaginal stimulation will double her pleasure, not to mention lead to a very unique orgasm.
Oral sexOral sex is exciting, sexy,and many women swear that it’s the only way they can have a consistent orgasm.
But if great isn’t good enough and your aiming more for “amazing” or “fantastic” take a look at the tips and techniques below.
Make sure you’re well groomed
How would you like to have sand paper rubbed between your legs? Well that’s what a five-o-clock shadow feels like to her. Make sure your face is smooth and clean-shaven. A beard isn’t as bad, but it might tickle.
Take the time to tease
Let her know what’s coming by starting at her lips and kissing your way down her body. Pay extra attention to her breasts, stomach, and thighs.
If she’s still wearing underwear, breath warm air and kiss or lick her through them before removing them.
After you’ve kissed her stomach and inner thighs, slowly work your way to her vagina. Start by licking the outer lips, then gently spread them and kiss the inner lips. Try to hold off from coming in contact with her clitoris for as long as you can.
Steady strokes are the key to an oral orgasm
Use your tongue to gently lick the sides of the clitoris, stimulating it through the clitoral hood.
Once she’s fully turned on and squirming with pleasure, carefully retract the hood with your fingers and lick upward using gentle, deliberate strokes. Keep the same tempo, even when she’s begging for something harder and faster. If you do this correctly, she should have an earth-shattering orgasm in no time.
Change it up
Another approach is to start with slow, rhythmic, tongue strokes (picture licking an ice cream cone) to get her all worked up. Then, when she can’t take it any more, hit her with a series of quick, teasing licks. Return to slow strokes and repeat until she orgasms.
This method works well because the long tongue strokes give her the consistent stimulation she needs while the teasing licks add surprise, spike her sexual response, and keep her moving toward orgasm.
Check out the Sex Toy Guide to learn about the absolute best toys available for clitoral stimulation.
Mistakes to avoid
Unfortunately, these common mistakes happen all the time and can be a real turn off. Make sure they don’t happen to you.
Don’t go straight for the clitoris
No matter how good you are at stimulating her clitoris, she won’t appreciate it if you head there right away. give her a a little bit of warm-up time to really get in the mood. A hot bath, sensual massage, and lots of teasing are recommended.
Don’t play rough
The clitoris has over eight thousand nerve fibers. That’s a lot of sensitivity right there. If even the lightest touch can shower her with sensations, imagine how painful a rough, careless touch can be. Keep it light until she asks for more stimulation.
Don’t touch without lubrication
Imagine rubbing your face with sandpaper. That’s how touching an un-lubricated clitoris can feel like for her. Gently apply her own natural lubrication or a water-based lube to the area before stimulation.
Don’t stop for a break
If she’s like most women, she has an “orgasm meter” that slowly builds up to the big O. If you’re stimulating her and she’s loving it, don’t stop! Otherwise the meter will reset itself and you’ll have to start all over.
Don’t forget to communicate
Many people are uncomfortable talking about sex (even when they’re having it!). However, it’s extremely important to find out what she likes and dislikes. Don’t be afraid to get a little direction.
Putting it all together
Whoa, that’s a lot of information. How the heck are you supposed to remember and apply all of it? Don’t worry, here’s a handy step-by-step recap:
- Know what you’re dealing with. The clitoris is the most reliable way to give her orgasms. Be sure you understand how it works and where to find it.
- Get her in the mood. She needs time to warm up. Take a hot bath, give her a sensual massage, and don’t skimp on the touching and kissing.
- Give her a hand. Many women use their fingers to bring themselves to orgasm. You can take advantage of that by using a well groomed hand to stimulate her with techniques such as sexy circles, follow-the-leader, and thumbs up.
- X-rated kisses. Oral sex is an exciting and sexy way to give her orgasms. With a clean shaven face, tease her body with your mouth and tongue before licking her clitoris with gentle, deliberate strokes. Or, change it up and mix in some quick, teasing licks to drive her wild.
- Bring some toys. A vibrator almost guarantees an intense orgasm. Have some fun with toys occasionally.
- Avoid common mistakes. Going right for her hot spots, being too rough with her sensitive parts, and touching her clitoris without lubrication are all common mistakes that should be avoided at all costs.
Communication is key
If giving her orgasms were as easy as pushing a button, you wouldn’t be reading this page. All women are different. Some enjoy firm clitoral stimulation, while some do not. Some can easily have multiple orgasms. Some cannot.
That’s why clear, honest communication is so important. Lack of it is the reason why many women feel they have to fake orgasms. If you want to give her the real ones, don’t be afraid to get a little feedback.